Your cheque is in the dog

Here's a strong contender for the Ultimate Excuse, from a small publisher that was late paying freelances:

I don't think I can help just yet - I'm working from home until Monday anyway, so I'm going to be nowhere near a cheque book but I don't think [name of publisher] is going to have the cash until [name of main subscriber]'s next payment on April 1. Best thing is to talk to [name of publisher's accountant] who we think might be in next Tuesday (I wasn't in when he was last in, so he didn't tell me and everybody else seems to have forgotten).

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